At a dinner meeting last year, I got a masterclass in what networking looks like when it goes right—and horribly wrong.

Marcus leaned in when I mentioned my background in consulting and asked thoughtful follow-ups about a project I was describing. Brad interrupted my handshake to launch into his elevator pitch, slid his business card across the table before I'd finished introducing myself, and spent the entire conversation scanning the room for "better" connections.

I left wanting to stay in touch with Marcus and hoping I'd never see Brad again.

The difference? We remember people who make us feel heard and valued.

Effective networking isn't about collecting contacts—it's about understanding the small psychological moments that either put people at ease or make them want to escape.

Here are five networking techniques that can make a difference:

1. Don’t stop at the standard greeting

Don’t: “Nice to meet you.” And then… dead air.

Do: Add a second sentence that shows you’re actually paying attention.
“Nice to meet you, Sarah. I think Lisa mentioned you just started at Roswell—how’s it going so far?”

→ It’s amazing how quickly this opens things up.

2. Don’t stay stuck in surface-level chatter

Don’t: Only ask the standard questions. “What do you do?” “Where do you live?”

Do: Ask a future question. “What’s something you’re excited about this year?” “What’s next for you?”

→ People light up when you ask about where they’re going.

3. Don’t try to memorize everything

Don’t: Try to memorize every detail during the conversation—you’ll miss what they’re actually saying.

Do: Focus on one “anchor detail” to jot down later. “She collects vinyl.” “He grew up near Jamestown.”

→ That one detail gives your memory something to grab onto—and the rest often comes back naturally.

4. Don’t put off the follow-up

Don’t: Tell yourself you’ll email tomorrow. (You won’t.)

Do: Send a quick note within a few minutes of leaving. “Great talking—here’s the book I mentioned.”

→ Short, simple, done.

5. Don’t show up only when you need something

Don’t: Disappear for months, then reappear when you’re job hunting or stuck. This makes people feel used rather than valued.

Do: Check in well in advance of any need or particular reason. “Saw this and it reminded me of your trip to Seattle.”

→ These small gestures build trust and friendship that feel natural.

 

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That’s it. Five small shifts that work because they align with how people actually connect. Most networking advice focuses on what to say. These techniques emphasize how to make someone feel truly heard.

Bottom line: The goal isn’t to be remembered as impressive. It’s to be remembered as someone worth talking to again—and maybe even someone worth knowing.