Networking events are equal parts professional development and existential dread. It’s a room full of name tags, awkward handshakes, and that one guy who insists on telling you his entire career trajectory. But hey, we’re here to make connections, not mistakes, right? So, let’s dive into the golden rules of what NOT to do.

1. Don’t aim to collect business cards; aim to collect stories

If your goal is to leave with a fistful of business cards, then you’re missing an opportunity. Instead, focus on collecting stories about people by asking them about their lives. It’s the weird, funny, human stuff that people actually remember. Like, “Oh, you’re the guy who spent three years raising chickens because you like the eggs!”

2. Don’t approach people like you’re selling them something

Nothing says “avoid me” like launching into a sales pitch like a telemarketer. Think of it as building bridges, not closing deals. Maybe the person doesn’t need your services, but their college roommate’s boss might. And who knows? Maybe they’ll tell you something fascinating, like how they’re restoring a vintage airplane in their spare time.

3. Don’t monopolize the conversation

If you’re talking for more than 50% of the time, who is really listening? Aim for an 80/20 split: let the other person talk while you chime in occasionally with comments and questions. Nobody likes a monologue at a networking event. Wait your turn, listen actively, and resist the urge to hijack the topic.

4. Don’t come out of a restroom with a wet right hand

It’s the cardinal sin of networking events. You think you’ve dried your hands on a paper towel, but one handshake later, you’ve become “that person.” Double-check before you rejoin the crowd. Handshakes can come at any time. Guard against offering a moist palm.

5. Don’t linger too long with 1 person

Sure, you just met someone who shares your love of Seinfeld, but don’t let it become a hostage situation. Networking is about spreading yourself around, not planting roots. A simple, “It’s been great chatting; I’m going to mingle a bit” does the trick.

6. Don’t be glued to your phone

Yes, we all love our phones, but put them away. Nothing screams, “I’d rather be anywhere else,” like scrolling through social media during a conversation. Be present, make eye contact, and engage with the real people around you.

7. Don’t underestimate nonverbal cues

Your body language is saying something even when you’re not. Slouching? You look disinterested. Avoiding eye contact? You seem shady. Arms crossed? Unapproachable. Instead, stand tall, smile, and keep your arms open—unless you’re holding a plate of mini egg rolls. Those take priority.

8. Don’t forget to follow up

Meeting someone is just the first step. Cement the connection with a personalized follow-up via text, email, or LinkedIn message. Go beyond just “nice to meet you” and mention something specific you discussed. It shows you were paying attention and valued their time.

While networking isn’t as hard as splitting atoms, it does require some skill to do well. Follow these rules, embrace the awkwardness, and remember: every handshake is an opportunity—unless it’s wet.